It's Nice to Be Back Home

Posted on Feb 22, 2022

I’m back here! If you remember my last post, I told you all I was putting this blog on hold in favor of other writing projects. I’m that kind of person who needs to experience things in her own body and soul to know what the right path is in her life… and for reasons I will explain right below, I’ll tell you why I’m back to this little blog… but also some changes I’m going to introduce to it.

Sit back, relax… Have some popcorn as I am having it right now while writing this… and enjoy the read. Beware, though… This one will be quite personal… When isn’t it, though? I’ve been able to make posts on POSIX specs personal!

Before I start, though… I just know I’m going to make some people happy with this.

The Substack Experiment

For some time now I’ve felt like there’s a lot I wanna talk about around politics, culture, social issues, etc. Believe it or not, I was involved in some high-level politics here in Spain many years ago and that’s an itch I’ve always wanted to scratch. Party politics are not for me, so I’ve played around the idea of becoming a political commentator of sorts for many years. There are a lot of topics I’m genuinely concerned about and… I asked myself, why not start something small now?

I considered using this very same blog for it but there was a catch I didn’t want to fall into. I’ve built a readership over here for some time. Politics are usually very divisive and within the FOSS community, I’m in the minority: I’m a Christian conservative. I love discussing ideas with people, but I’m also aware that I could very easily annoy people who are here for the tech posts and the occasional personal post… and just for the sake of an experiment? Just for the sake of me trying out a different genre? No, I wasn’t comfortable with that. If I was going to try out this, I didn’t want this blog’s readership suddenly become my guinea pigs of sorts. I left the decision of figuring out what to do with this blog later down the line.

So I created a Substack. If you don’t know what it is, it’s a platform that allows you write posts that are sent as a newsletter to your subscribers and also makes these posts available in a blog-like way on the web. It’s a competitor to Medium, with way better monetization program, really nice user support, and one thing that did interest me was that it’s very well-known to be a conservative-leaning platform. I liked that because I wanted to test the waters with an audience that was potentially more likely to engage with my experiment.

I had no true plans to monetize that newsletter in the short-term though. And of course I knew that you don’t build a readership from one day to the other… I mean, I’ve had this blog before, right?

It was all about testing myself, how I felt writing about certain topics…

I found out I like writing about some stuff but I also felt that I was falling back to personal posts about my own life rather than real political commentary? I mean… OK, this is something I do link to me finding out I’m way less rational, way more emotional than I thought I was… So yeah, I guess I know my politics… but what I truly enjoy is speaking about experiences, stuff I like… which might or might not reveal some things I believe in… and most importantly, when it does reveal them, it’s not annoying to anyone because I’m speaking about my life.

And to do that… erh… why the hell start over on a new (proprietary) platform when I’ve got this blog set up, under a domain that’s my own, hosted by sourcehut pages… I mean, I’ve got a good relationship with many of my readers here via email, IRC… and sourcehut’s lead developer, the indefatigable Drew DeVault is one of the nicest people I’ve ever come across the FOSS world, always ready to lend you a hand to solve anything related to the platform… And this is written locally on my computer, in Markdown files… so if one day I wanna go the self-hosting route, migrating this blog would be a trivial task.1

So, for some days I felt like me writing on that Substack was forcing myself into a box. I love talking about FOSS and there I wasn’t ever going to be able to talk about it. I felt depressed, like I had lost track… Even burned out? How come could I be burned out in less than a month? But yeah, I was.

Then, something super dumb happened… There was a simple feature I wanted to implement into schain… I did that instead of writing on my Substack a couple of days ago and… wow… I felt like I had reconnected with myself. OK, I’m probably not writing a post on that feature any time soon but the fact that I can freely include a link to an effing git commit like the one above already feels so right.

I was confused all day long, so I prayed to God He helped me figure this out. And… I think I knew it from the start, to be honest. So I just deleted that Substack newsletter. I know this is my place…

Who Am I, Though

There’s a question of identity behind all of this. Some of you know I’ve been through some rough times and I’m still figuring some things out. Maybe at 33 years old it’s a bit late, but everyone’s got their own pace in life, don’t we?

I have a complicated relationship with programming, tech, computers, and the FOSS world. I love it, I’ve been part of it since 2007. Yet I find myself very lost in what my contribution should be in it.

Look, I’m a Linguistics major. Programming is a hobby to me. I’m super emotional, my code is heterodox to say the least, and I’ve always seen words to be my calling. I enjoy writing code, but I would never try to seriously become a full-time programmer. I need my breathing space when it comes to code. But when it comes to communicating… Girl… You know my posts are usually long, very different to everyone else’s in the tech world… I know I’m unique in this…

Yet I’ve always been super afraid of openly stating I want this to be my career.

I know I’m super far away from this at the present moment… but… seriously, I dream of hosting a FOSS event or presenting somewhere some stuff about maybe the history of ed(1) or… why not… arguing for FOSS on mainstream media. But it is scary. It’s scary because I feel like my dreams are totally unusual, the only precedent I can think of is Bryan Lunduke and… to be honest, I feel uncomfortable just by mentioning him. But I don’t want to become a clown like he became, you know… I feel totally lost in this and I wished I had a mentor, someone who knows their ways around media regarding FOSS as well as setting up a media business… I’ve dreamed so many times of writing or announcing a press release for an important FOSS project…

Wow… I think you can’t imagine how it feels to having said that. I needed it.

Yet… I don’t wanna lose my social, cultural commenting. But again… I want it to be personal. The world is way too full of people pontificating left and right… like, literally. OK, yeah, I have a perspective on things that you may or may not agree with…

But I want this place, this very blog, to be a reflection of who I am… and I’m a lot of very contradictory things. My therapist has insisted so many times that I need to accept my uniqueness and own it. It’s super hard. But I guess this is a place to do it… The Substack was a way of escapism.

Welcome me back home, my dear friends. I made a mistake, but luckily nothing was truly lost.

Where Is This Blog Headed Now?

So… I do want to change some things on this blog. This is primarily a tech, FOSS, coding blog. That won’t change. But I really want to write personal, lifestyle posts. I’m eager to post some Bible commentary, some more superficial stuff… This blog is and has always been named after me, just Ariadna Vigo.

I want this place to feel like the place to get me to know better, in the multitude of topics I love to talk about. And I know there’s people out there who enjoy reading my writing.

I also want it to become a portfolio, though. But an organic one. Again, God has shown me that there’s a reason why I’ve had this passion since I was a little child sitting on the lap of my granddad while he taught me the basics of BASIC2 on his ZX Spectrum. It’s super personal to me. I know landing a job like the one I dream of is gonna take years if not a whole decade… but it’s a matter of consistency and being yourself.

So expect the usual content here, with some added new stuff. Not sure how I will manage the next couple of posts… but I’ll figure it out.

And lastly, thank you so much for the emails you sent me when I announced I was putting this blog on hold. You know what… Some of you were right. I owe you one. The FOSS community can be a very nice place to be.

God bless you all! 💖

  1. Not looking forward to self-hosting at all in the short-term… I know how to do it, but I find sysadmin’ing a server a tiresome and boring task. I’m already in charge of a server of an organization I’m helping… I don’t want another one in my life! ↩︎

  2. Pun totally intended. RIP granddad. I love you and I know you still love me 💖. I know we will be together again when I join you in the afterlife. ↩︎